


Sick of Losing Soulmates

by anakien



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Episode 30: “Justice”, Hurt/Comfort, Literally hurt characters, M/M, Near thinks he’s above these things but he’s really not, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 09:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anakien/pseuds/anakien
Summary: In a world where you can feel your soulmate's pain, Near learns who his soulmate is after recognizing this pain on the face of his greatest rival.
Relationships: Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River
Comments: 3
Kudos: 70





	Sick of Losing Soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Here is yet another Near/Mello fic, but this one is actually from Near's POV. (Are y'all sick of me yet?) This is my first time writing from Near's POV, and it was actually more challenging than I thought. Please let me know how I did!
> 
> Song title came from "Sick of Losing Soulmates" by Dodie. I am an absolute sucker for soulmate AUs, so I'm actually kind of surprised this is my first ever soulmate fic!
> 
> Italics represent thoughts.
> 
> I don't own Death Note. Some of the dialogue comes from episode 30.
> 
> Enjoy and R&R!

Near has never cared much for the idea of soulmates.

The idea that you feel what pain your soulmate feels has never sat right with him. What sadist of a higher power would impress that upon His people? The only way to prove that you found your soulmate is to injure yourself in such a way that stands out, either by severity of pain or unusualness of location. Love is pain in the world Near lives in, though it shouldn't be.

It's a shame, too, since the world is so fixated on this idea. Even in their isolated upbringing at Wammy's, the other children were well aware of this. It was not uncommon for new arrivals to be swarmed and tested on, though the likelihood that another's soulmate was also living at Wammy's was minuscule, especially with the billions of people in the world.

Ridiculous.

Regardless, Near doesn't need a soulmate. He is a fully capable person in his own right, and simply because there is one person out there designed with him in mind does not mean he is lacking in any way without them. Besides, isn't it frankly arrogant to believe that there was one person made solely for you? That even diminishes their own value is a single person.

He has bigger things to concern himself with. Succeeding L, for one. And on a smaller note, but no less satisfying, shoving it to Mello.

* * *

He remembers one day, when he was around eight years old and feeling emotionally weaker than normal, he took his toys outside to go watch the other children play ball.

Near has never been an active person, wholly content to play alone, or to watch the others quietly. He does not remember ever being accidentally injured, nor does he have any desire to harm himself to see his peers' reactions and test for a soulmate. Even as a child he felt this way. He thought this on that day as well.

Instead of joining in, he observed patiently, watching as the others ran around.

When he sat down, Matt whispered to Mello and pointed at him. Mello stopped chasing the ball to look, and when he met Near's gaze, glared back in his direction. Near ignored him. This was actually fairly tame for one of Mello's reactions.

The ones playing were shoved, pushed, and tripped. All would result in the soulmate experiencing a minor moment of pain. Near didn't feel anything. He did not know why he expected otherwise.

He turned his attention down onto his toy cars and focused on those. As soon as he looked away from the field, a sudden pain blossomed in his right knee.

Shocked, he reached out a hand and pressed his knee hesitantly. Nothing is there, and almost as soon as the pain appeared, it disappeared again. He looked up to the field.

Several of his peers were standing up and dusting themselves off. There seemed to be some sort of dog pile for the ball. His gaze jumped from person to person. Nobody seemed to be in pain anymore. Trigger was already charging at Shatter. Daniel and Matt were talking and laughing. Even Mello was standing up, though he was scowling over at Trigger.

Near squinted. Too many of them had grass stains on their knees. That was inconclusive. Additionally, just because there was an event that matched with his experience here at Wammy's, did not mean that somewhere else in the world his soulmate hadn't done something similar at the exact same time.

Near stood and turned to go back inside. He no longer wanted to know.

* * *

After L dies, he and Mello are brought to Roger's to discuss the new successor. It doesn't go as expected, but even so, when Roger broaches the subject of allowing both to work together as L, Near does not mind.

He likes Mello. Granted, he likes beating him as well, but Mello has always been challenging yet intelligent. His initiative, combined with Near's own logical view of doing things, would work quite well together.

Of course, Mello absolutely hates him. It is no surprise that Mello instantly refuses, choosing to leave Wammy's instead of working with him. No matter. Near will not have any problem finding and capturing Kira on his own.

He knows Mello will likely do the same thing, and he looks forward to the challenge.

Though, as time passes, his thoughts stray from this. He has bigger, more important things to focus on, such as graduating from Wammy's, and then working for the United States and therefore with the SPK. And even more seldom does he think of his soulmate.

Catching Kira is his ultimate goal. Anything else is a distraction.

* * *

It's just a normal day when Near experiences the worst pain he's ever felt in his life.

He is sitting on the floor, slowly stacking a house of cards when the left side of his face is suddenly ablaze. He lets out a squeak in shock and tumbles forward, sending his cards to fall down around him.

"Near!"

Near clenches his eyes shut tight and grabs his face. The pain spreads down to his shoulder, and he curls into the fetal position. He can feel his team's hands on him, checking his pulse and fluttering over him carefully.

"Near, what happened?"

"Go get a medic!"

"Stop," Near croaks. "Not me." He cracks open his right eye to see Lidner's concerned face directly over him. She turns to look at whoever is standing behind him, expression shifting to be one of unhappy understanding.

"His soulmate," she says.

A hand presses down on his arm. "Near, do you know who your soulmate is? We can go check on them," Rester says.

"No," Near says. The pain isn't getting any better, but the fact that he still feels pain means his soulmate is still alive. He forces himself to sit up and move, though Lidner keeps him from moving too quickly.

"What happened?" Gevanni comes to stand behind Lidner. "Did they-?"

"They're alive," Near says. Now that he is upright, he is in better control of himself, though the pain is still excruciating. He can feel beads of sweat drip down the side of his face. He slowly releases his grip on the left side of his face and lowers his hand. "I believe they were just burned on the left side of their body, incredibly badly."

"Gevanni, go research recent explosions in the Middle East," Rester says. Near can hear Gevanni's footsteps as he walks back to his station. "Near, do you need anything?"

Near moves his shoulder out from under Rester's hand. Lidner also takes a step back, giving him some room to breath. "No. We need to continue working."

"But-"

"Don't make me repeat myself," Near says with as much firmness as he can muster, though it is not a lot right now. At that, Rester and Lidner step back and head back to their locations. Lidner looks particularly unhappy, but she doesn't press. Gevanni's typing falters for a moment, but even he resumes his previous tasks.

Near shudders as the pain spreads down his left side, creeping down the back of his shoulder. His left arm feels like dead weight, so he picks up the closest card to him with his right. Slowly, carefully, he sets it down in front of him. He lets his racing heart slow through the calming actions of starting his tower over.

It's a shame, what happened to his soulmate. Even he is not heartless enough to say otherwise, especially after feeling firsthand their pain. They're alive, but he needs to know no more information than that. But this pain will only inconvenience him in this investigation. He will not let it stop him.

* * *

Even over the next few weeks, the pain lingers. No moment is as strong as that initial burn, but there are spikes as Near can only assume from when dressings are replaced. Still, it is strange to look in the mirror every morning and see his unblemished face stare back, especially when his face burns so.

* * *

"Near!"

Near looks up at the call of his name, pausing the movement of his train. Rester sounds unusually tense. He points towards the screen, which shows a live feed of the front entrance of their headquarters.

Mello stands at the door with a gun pointed at Lidner's head. He wears a jacket with a thick hood, covering all but the bottom of his face. Lidner looks tense, but not too concerned.

"What should we do?" Rester asks. Gevanni comes to stand next to them, already with his gun out.

"Let him in," Near says. He expected Mello to come. After all, Near does have the only photograph of him on the planet. They wait as Mello and Lidner disappear from sight, having entered the building. The elevator behind them hums as it lifts them to their floor.

Near doesn't bother to move as Rester and Gevanni move into position. Both are armed and ready to pull the trigger if Mello tries anything. Near expects that he won't, but he doesn't tell them that fact.

The elevator dings as it opens, and Near listens to the neat clicking of their shoes as they approach. Instead, he flicks the power switch so the train starts to move again.

Mello stops a few feet behind him. Near can hear his heavy breathing.

"Welcome, Mello," he says, not bothering to look up solely because he knows it will annoy him.

"Put down your gun!" Rester shouts to Near's left. Gevanni shifts in place to his right.

Mello's coat rustles as he moves closer to Linder, probably to press the gun even closer, if Rester's and Gevanni's reactions are anything to go by.

"Everyone, please put down your guns," Near says calmly. "It is meaningless for us to shed blood here."

"But Mello killed the others!"

Mello snorts from somewhere behind him.

"Don't make me repeat myself. Our goal is to catch Kira." With this, Near turns to finally look at Mello. Instead, he is stopped in his tracks.

Mello glares at him from under his hood, but what really stops Near is the large purple burn that circles Mello's left eye. Instantly, Near knows what this means. The ache in his own face confirms it. Instead of commenting on it, he says instead, "Right now killing Mello will not benefit us."

Rester hesitates for a moment before slowly lowering his own gun, and Gevanni follows his lead. Mello also lowers his own gun from Lidner's temple. With his other hand, he yanks his hood down.

At the sight, Rester breathes in a quick, startled gasp. Gevanni gasps as well, quietly.

Near doesn't take his eyes off of Mello. With his hood down, Near can see just how big Mello's burn is, even the way it dips under his jacket collar. Mello, his greatest rival, has turned out to be his soulmate.

"Have things gone as you planned, Near?" Mello asks, sneering. His body language signals that he's uncomfortable by Near's appraising look.

"Yes. You've heard from Lidner, haven't you?" Near says drily. Ah, the irony of this situation is not lost on him. But with the hateful glare Mello keeps giving him, it looks like Mello has no idea. "About the second L? I've pretty much figured out who Kira is, because of everything you've done."

Mello grinds his teeth and instantly points his gun at him. "Near!"

Rester and Gevanni both have their guns up again in a flash, over their shock at Mello's appearance.

"I'm not a tool for you to use to solve the puzzle," Mello spits.

Near doesn't say anything for a moment, simply appraises Mello. Mello will not find out from him what they are. He turns back to his train set. "Mello, shoot me if you want."

"Mello! If you shoot Near, we'll have no choice but to shoot you." Lidner speaks in a low, urgent tone. "What'll happen if you both die? It would make Kira happy."

Mello is silent for a moment. "That's true. Near, I just came to get the photograph you have of me." Rester and Gevanni lower their guns, which means Mello must have stepped down.

Near reaches into his shirt and pulls out the photo pressed neatly against his chest. "Yes, this is the photograph. I've already dealt with everyone who knows your face, at Wammy's House and elsewhere."

He flips it over to the back to read the words he'd written earlier: Dear Mello. Written solely to rile Mello, but now it appears to have a deeper meaning. It doesn't matter much to him. He holds it outstretched between his fingers and throws it back to Mello, who catches it with a tiny noise.

"I can't say I'm a hundred percent sure, but it's safe to say that you won't be killed by the notebook." He turns around to look at Mello again, who is now staring at the back of the photograph with an expression an unpleasant mix of shock and disgust. "Is that all, Mello?"

Mello narrows his eyes. "Near, I have no intention of working with you."

"I know." Near says. Inwardly, he thinks, _I would be surprised if you had._

"But it would upset me to receive this picture without giving anything in return."

That sparks Near's interest.

"The killer notebook, it's a Shinigami's notebook. Whoever touches it is able to see the Shinigami."

"That's crazy!" Rester says.

"Who would believe that?" Gevanni scoffs.

"I believe him." Near sees Rester turn to face him swiftly, but his gaze is locked on Mello before him. "What good would it do for Mello to tell a lie like that? He would at least tell a better lie or something that has some truth to it. Therefore, Shinigami really exist."

"The notebook I had was one that belonged to someone who wasn't a Shinigami," Mello says. "Also, there were fake rules hidden among the rules written in it."

_Interesting_ , Near thinks to himself. _How very helpful to know._

"That's all I can tell you," Mello says, gaze hard once more. He turns and starts walking back towards the elevator. After a few steps, he pauses and fumbles in his coat pocket. He pulls out an open chocolate bar and bites off a chunk with his front teeth. "Near."

"Mello."

"Which of us is going to get Kira first?"

Near can't help the tiny smile that grows at the thought of their challenge resuming. "The race is on."

"Our destination is the same. I'll be waiting for you."

"Alright," Near says, and he watches Mello finally walk out. As soon as the elevator doors close again, his team is turning towards him.

"Those scars," Lidner says. Gevanni makes a rude noise in the back of his throat.

"Mello's burns are irrelevant towards me," Near says dismissively. "I have bigger things to focus on, such as the fact that Shinigami truly exist and the killer notebook has fake rules in it." He pauses for a moment, considering his options. "I think it's time for us to contact L once again."

Rester hands him a laptop and the microphone. As Near puts it down to set it up, he thinks about Mello.

Mello. Dear Mello. Regardless of the fact that Mello is his soulmate, Mello just because an even more important aspect of this case. With Mello's actions, he will be able to advance his own investigation and narrow down further on Yagami. He has always thought soulmates were pointless. Any changing feelings on the soulmate matter are irrelevant and merely a distraction. Mello has always only been a distraction for him.

Regardless of what he wants on the subject, it doesn't matter. Mello hates him, anyway. Always has, and always will.

And because of that, Near will ignore it. For his sake, and for the sake of the case. For Mello, and for the purpose of destroying Light Yagami.

Nothing else matters. He promises this to himself.

He turns to Rester and nods. "Call L. It's time."

**Author's Note:**

> Especially potent lyrics for this fic: "What the hell would I be, without you / Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth" & "I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me / so how do we win?"
> 
> Also, if you want to make yourselves sadder after reading, just think: Mello may have never found out the truth before he died. (Or even, Near thought he would be able to tell Mello after they finished the case, but he never got the chance). 
> 
> Please, R&R!


End file.
